How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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