And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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