the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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