Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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