I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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