god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
