So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
