I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
