There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if only i could text you this smell
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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