New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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