my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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