I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize