Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
