just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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