Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
did you just send me my own nude
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
