Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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