What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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