just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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