There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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