It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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