i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
