David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
