Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
