ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
