Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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