Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
