yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
