I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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