a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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