her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
