HIV tests are more positive than that guy
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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