would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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