i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize