Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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