Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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