One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
