I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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