real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week