Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (23350) Bad night (1311)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.

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  (484): Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date. http://tfl.nu/zs6r
  Replies (22) Good night (552) Bad night (3312)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"

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  (314): he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??" http://tfl.nu/y012
  Replies (125) Good night (1369) Bad night (22650)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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  (419): this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children http://tfl.nu/wdp5
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (3568)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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  (765): She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed http://tfl.nu/bbsg
  Replies (18) Good night (1871) Bad night (4140)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.

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  (785): im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit. http://tfl.nu/en3h
  Replies (2) Good night (1435) Bad night (427)
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  (916): View more from California

  Yep. How's your hangover?

  (1-916): View more from California

  It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.

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  (916): Yep. How's your hangover? (1-916): It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me. http://tfl.nu/bn8s
  Replies (8) Good night (1662) Bad night (688)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here

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  (614): We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here http://tfl.nu/ha0m
  Replies (6) Good night (1422) Bad night (540)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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  (773): Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass. http://tfl.nu/m2gp
  Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (585)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (1013) Bad night (393)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

  (210): View more from Texas

  You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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  (716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (812)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

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  (312): I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men. http://tfl.nu/h4bo
  Replies (7) Good night (680) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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  (479): I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me. http://tfl.nu/4b9a
  Replies (5) Good night (319) Bad night (506)
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  (+58): View more from

  Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.

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  (+58): Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother. http://tfl.nu/wull
  Replies (4) Good night (579) Bad night (314)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.

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  (601): You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears. http://tfl.nu/i99a
  Replies (2) Good night (866) Bad night (352)

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