he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
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I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.