well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.