you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
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I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
