Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."