just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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