what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
