We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
