I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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