Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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