when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
