great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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