Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
