So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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