Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
