i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
