Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
