Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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