we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
