I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
