the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
