i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
