Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
